the memory of you…

The memory of you seems a bit blurry and dull
I remember sensations more than actualities
I remember warmth and think sometimes of how I crave it more than I crave you.

And I remember laughter that could make my tummy dance.
I remember minutiae that have pricked holes in my life.
And now I’m trying to close them with patches of whatever I’d find suitable.
Excessive work, bad habits, long drives, random flings…

I’m trying to keep myself busy and race with time so it doesn’t catch me looking back and reversing its flow to when I still had you here…

The memory of you seems a bit blurry and dull.
Thinking of how beautiful it all started and how quickly it went wrong…is just daunting.

Memories of your touch haunt my skin, the hairs on my arms stand up in the same places your fingers used to rest…

My apartment is still haunted by the memory of you…and I’m caught screaming to myself that I’ve moved on.
Yet whatever I do is done solely to forget you.

P. S. “You were not my first or final love, but between us… you’ll always be the one that counts “

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